Raising Digital Kids » facebook

Facebook: The Six-Year-Old With a Messy Room

admin — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:08:51 +0000

Facebook turned six this week and so did my relationship with it. Initially, at its creation, I was a voyeur on my kids’ sites because I didn’t have the requisite college .edu address to access to the site.

Soon after, when it expanded to include high school students, it dropped the .edu address requirement. It wasn’t too hard for me to backdate my life and get myself a high school account. Today, everyone over 13 can have a Facebook account.

But, as the constituency grew, so did the capabilities and complexities.

Here’s an original Facebook page from 2004. Notice the pervasive college feel.

Here’s my Facebook page from 2006. Clearly a database of my personal interests.
Now, here’s today’s latest welcome to my page.

What you should notice: My new page has more icons per square inch than a Japanese schoolkid’s backpack.

First are the three icons on the upper left corner that call out: friend requests, messages, and notifications. The shades of difference between a notification and a message are lost on me. I was perfectly happy to check the right side of my screen for the occasional new friend and avoid this icon corner completely.

Number two. The left nav bar can now go on for miles. It includes the new hallmark of Facebook: apps and marketplace. Not only can I have my own list of apps, I can see which apps my friends use.

The marketplace is populated by ads and offerings from my friends, friends of friends, and people I’ve never heard of. I get it. Facebook wants to be the CMU (Center of My Universe) but personally I’d rather see Facebook classic.

Finally, number three: some pretty good privacy. Once you get beyond brainteasers like this one from the privacy setting page: Story on your profile is now controlled by the privacy of the content itself, rather than an additional setting. For example, only people who can see both your Wall, and the Wall to which you posted would be able to see a story about you writing on a friend’s Wall. You cannot completely turn off recent activity stories anymore. You’re offered a fabulously nuanced degree of control, but the exercise gives reading for meaning a new meaning.

Bottom line: Like any six-year-old, Facebook is expanding its world, and starting to see things from the other person’s point of view (hence all the customization). That’s great. OTH, I miss the pristine neatness of my Facebook of yore.

How to Stalk Your College Kids, From the Ultimate E-mom

admin — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:56:26 +0000

What if your life were just an example to be parodied? That’s how I felt when I watched this perfectly executed parody of an earnest mom explaining how she can keep tabs on her college kids. If you’ve ever been part of the Internet safety discussion you’ve got to see this clip from The Onion.

Facebook Is Getting Wrinkles

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:35:15 +0000

I joined Facebook in 2005. My friends were my son and my daughter. My son quickly removed me from his list. That left my daughter.

Fast forward to 2009 when I’ve got 647 friends. I get about five new friend requests a day. For the most part these are people I know—the sum total of 50+ years of collecting family, colleagues, and buddies.

Each time a blast from the past finds my profile and says hi I hear Barbra Streisand singing “Memories” to Robert Redford in my head. That’s why, when you get right down to it, social networking was tailor-made for boomers. We know more people and have more free time. And now that Facebook is serving me Dmitri Martin ads and not wrinkle cream, I’ll even click on an ad now and then.

The age of a Facebook user is aging up and aging well. Five years is long enough for the first generation of Facebook users to leave school, get jobs, contemplate families, and, yes, even cocoon at home a bit more than they did in college. A perfect petri dish for a Facebook user. To see the current Facebook usership and the growth in older users membership, read the O’Reilly Radar ReportO’Reilly radar report.

Nowhere to Age But Up

It’s not just Facebook that’s aging. The entire Internet is starting to show its age. According to an amalgamation of 2008 data from the Pew Internet and American Life Project, older folks are the fastest growing group on the Internet. They tend to do more online activities, including banking, shopping, and looking for health information.

While they trail behind the Gen Ys in terms of time spent social networking, the growth of the kids’ use of Facebook is six-pack abs flat while the boomer market is mushrooming.

Now, if they could just put the kibosh on those Botox ads.

For more stats from the Pew Internet Life study:

Generations Online

Teens and Generation Y (age 18-32) are more likely than their older counterparts to seek entertainment through online videos, online games, and virtual worlds, and they are also more likely to download music to listen to later.

78% of 12-17 year-old Internet users play games online;
73% of online teens email, the second most popular activity for this age group; and
Only 50% of Generation Y play online games.

The report says that health questions drive Internet users age 73 and older to the Internet just as frequently as they drive Generation Y. Researching health information is the third most popular online activity with the most senior age group, after email and online searches.

Generation X (ages 33-44) continues to lead in online shopping:

80% of Generation X Internet users buy products online;
71% of Internet users ages 18- 32 buy products online;
38% of teens buy products online;
56% of Internet users ages 64-72 buy online; and
47% of Internet users age 73 and older buy online.

Sixty-seven percent of Generation X Internet users bank online, while 57% of Generation Y do their banking online, up from 38% in 2005. There has been no significant growth among older generations when it comes to banking online.

Downloading videos is now being done more equally across all generations under 73 years old.

31% of Generation X claim to download videos as of 2007;
38% of Generation Y downloaded videos;
13% of G.I. Generation Internet users (age 73+) reported downloading videos, up from 1% in 2005; and
13% of the online Silent Generation (ages 64-72) say they download videos, up from 8% in 2005.

Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project December 2008 survey, February 2009

The Taming of the Internet: Child Porn First

admin — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:39:45 +0000

After decades of trying to curtail the amount of pornography available on the Internet, a glimmer of consensus has been reached. But the moment might be fleeting.Historically, it seemed like the one thing the industry, government, and Internet safety advocates could agree on was that child pornography—the depiction of minors engaged in sexual acts or provocative poses—is despicable and should be wiped off the face of the web. It’s hard to find a person who disagrees with the sentiment. But, as always, the disagreement comes in the definition of what child porn is and what chain reaction might be set off as information is censored.
For years, child porn chatrooms and groups were quietly allowed to do their thing on the net. After a bit of pressure was applied by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo’s office, three of the major Internet service providers, Sprint Nextel, Verizon Communications, and Time Warner Cable, announced that they will now block access to child pornography sites, newsgroups, chats, and anything else having to do with child porn.
The companies also promised to speed up their efforts to respond to reported incidences of child pornography and have donated money to help law enforcement be more responsive, too.
Social networks MySpace and Facebook have agreed to block Internet access to known predators. MySpace is also promising a tool to help parents keep tabs on their networked kids. The companies’ determination to deter sex offenders and child pornographers is laudable.
But, at the same time, a more subtle discussion is brewing. Each time the government tries to regulate Internet content, there’s a predicable outcry from civil liberties groups. One of the arguments is that there are already sufficient laws on the books to thwart child predators. Another is that private ISPs should not be deciding what to censor; they should be conduits, not arbiters. In a recent article in First Monday, an online journal about the Internet, the author labels those who see legislation as a way to legislate Internet content as “technopanics” fueled into action by sensationalized media. For more on free speech and the Internet debate, see The Washington Post article.

This may sound uncharacteristically conservative of me, but I think child porn is so heinous that if all we did was agree to block the commonly known and well-documented sites that cater to child pornography we’d be doing the entire world a service. Cuomo’s office used a heavy hand to make the ISPs do what is unquestionably correct. Adult pornography is a different issue and free speech should be held paramount.

What if Facebook Was Real Life? (It’s Complicated)

admin — Fri, 09 May 2008 02:18:24 +0000

Everyone who’s spent hours asking people they don’t even like to be their friends, writing on walls, or reaffirming the complications of their relationships will get a kick out of this YouTube video that parodies real life. It’s making the rounds of the viral videos, but there’s more to it than a good laugh.

Beyond the LOL (laughing out loud) it’s important that parents see that Facebook users have a sense of perspective–never mind humor–about Facebook. They have the ability to laugh at themselves as in this parody of Facebook friends in various relationships. They have the ability to laugh at Facebook, judging by this one from a guy who impersonates a Scandinavian news anchor explaining what Facebook means to him (drugs and sex references included). Not only are the parodies clever and creative, they show an understanding of the fun and the folly that is Facebook. It is, indeed, complicated.

Facebook Becomes a More Gated Community

admin — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:53:26 +0000

If you’ve been watching Facebook over the years, you know that it’s not the same place it once was. First a haven for college kids with a .edu address, Facebook expanded its community in both directions. Upward to accommodate the working world (a Facebook network can be your place of business) and downward to the high school world (verified through some mysterious process that’s much easier when you have a school mailbox). Today, Facebook morphs once again, this time making it more apparent than ever that you’re talking ONLY to the people you want in your circle of friends.

Over the past few months, Facebook has conducted social experiments with how information gets shared within networks on the site. Its newsfeeds broadcast any tiny change you make to your profile to your network and an open API lets any third parties easily develop applications to work within Facebook. Other recent social experiments that did not go over too well include one that broadcast your shopping purchases to your network.

Today, Facebook introduced some new privacy measures that offer more control over who you share information with, and, for now at least, access to the enhanced privacy feature is prominently located on your home profile page. I just took a look and found the new choices powerful and fairly easy to use.

The big problem is getting kids (and adults) to use them. Some of the controls now let you exclude certain people from getting your photos and updates (this means that Dad can be your friend on Facebook but doesn’t necessarily have to be privy to everything that you post.) The new features make it easy to block certain individuals from being able to even search for your name on Facebook (which can keep kids safer or can let them hide a bit more, depending on whether you entertain an optimist’s view). The level of nuance and granularity in the settings is remarkable. You can decide who can share your photos, tag them, and send them to others, and then make the same decisions for your profile information, your applications, and your newsfeeds.

Bottom line: It appears that the new features let you control precisely who sees what on your profile. Kudos to Facebook for dishing out the controls. Now it’s up to us to make sure that we use them.

Why “Because I Said So” Won’t Work

admin — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 14:42:04 +0000

Don’t we all wish that Internet safety was as easy as saying “because I said so, that’s why!”?

Somewhere around age 3 kids learn the “W” (Why) word as a rebuttal, and once they do, there’s no going back. And as they get older they’re more likely to follow the advice dispensed behind a well-reasoned argument than advice that comes from out of the blue and begins with “because I said so.” When it comes to the Internet that means it’s up to parents and schools to be informed enough about how things work in cyberspace to give reasonable advice and hold informed conversations.

When Internet safety advocates first began dispensing their advice it was often in the form of sweeping pronouncements like, “Never give out your name, address, or personal information online” or “Always put the computer in a public area of the home.”

The Internet is no place for ultimatums and absolutes. “Never” and “always” are a long time, and kids and the Internet are always changing.

What do we do instead? Replace “no” with developmentally sound and age-appropriate advice.

Try these on for size:

Instead of saying: Never give out your name, address, or personal information.

Say: I know that there are times when you’re going to want to give out your personal information. And sometimes–especially to your close circle of friends–giving out this information is warranted. But making that information accessible to everyone carte blanche is a big mistake. There are scam artists and predators who will use that information to do you harm. Pick up a newspaper to track news events about personal information on the web and you’ll see that I’m right.

Instead of saying: Never post a photo on the Internet.

Say: We all love to share our photos. Why else would we take them? But when photos fall into the wrong hands on the Internet they may be used in ugly ways. If you only share photos with people we know in the real world you can probably avoid potentially painful situations. Make sure that you trust your friends, too. A friend could very easily pass your photo along to the wrong people or invite an unsavory person to become a part of your group. Be vigilant.

Instead of simply granting permission to create a profile on Facebook or get an AOL account, try working with them to set up the correct privacies and privileges. Every social network and online tool has settings to make it difficult for uninvited guests to see you.

Instead of just handing them an iPod or game machine as a gift and sending them off, make sure you’ve set those machines up to maximize privacy and protection. With an iPod and iTunes it’s quite easy to download some objectionable videos unless you adjust the parental controls.

And mostly, instead of saying, It’s just the Internet; it can’t be controlled, make sure you’ve instituted age-appropriate rules. How long can they stay online? Do you know their online friends? Are they aware of the damage they can do by saying something mean or passing along mean messages?

With a bit of mind-grease parents can bring the Internet back into the realm of parenting with rules, guidelines, expectations and consequences.

Facebook: New Ease of Use Keeps Users Safer

admin — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 16:34:39 +0000

I’ve always been a big fan of Facebook, believing that, in the end, its utility and magic would trump the downside. I believe that kids and adults alike will learn to rein in their most dangerous behaviors, and protect themselves online as well as off.

But I’ve always been vocal in saying that I thought most kids didn’t realize what they were doing half the time they were on Facebook. They had no idea of what a relational database did and no idea about who would see what as they joined various groups and forged online friendship networks.

As Facebook grew, its early users went on to graduate to other walks of life. Now, with 19 million users in over 47,000 geographic, work-related, college, and high school segments, it was time for Facebook to help people better understand what was going on. The redesign makes it easier to understand the ramifications of what happens as you join groups, exchange photos, and converse. To its credit, Facebook invited its members to weigh in on the changes and 100,000 users shared their comments before the new design was rolled out.

Case in Point

With the old design, you were often blissfully unaware of how many people could view whatever you were doing. Here’s my story.

The Old Design: I’m Facebook friends with my young niece. She was posting pictures to her friends. I thought the pics were a bit over the top, so I gave her Mom the heads up. My niece blamed me for “spying” on her. I had to remind her that when she posts pictures for one friend in her group, unless she specifies otherwise, I get notified on my Facebook via my Newsfeed.

The New Design: With the new Facebook you receive more notification about where you are and what you’re doing. You are notified when activity on a network is hidden from you because you’re not a member. You can systematically browse groups by region, high school, college, or workplace. Links you view change in context, depending on whether you’re viewing your profile or someone else’s.

According to Facebook’s blog, the changes were meant to make navigation and messaging easier, not to keep people safer. But I’m convinced that when things are easier, transparent, and understood, there’s bound to be less incident.

Facebook Tries to Make Sense of the Senseless VT Shootings

admin — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 19:03:58 +0000

On a Facebook group called Anyone Who Knew Cho Seung Hui, a reporter named Karen Park, with Tokyo Broadcasting System (TBS) in New York City is looking for Koreans from Virginia who knew Mr. Cho and would talk to the press. There are 57 members in her group now, mostly college students trying to make sense of the events that have transpired, mostly ignoring Ms. Park. Reporters are trolling Facebook and MySpace today, looking for kids who want to talk.But above and beyond Facebook’s latest use as a reporter’s source list, there’s something more important going on. Facebook is being used in some novel ways–to grieve, to commemorate, to call for action, to reach out to others, and to reminisce. Of course, all is not perfect. One of the signatures of this online world is the tasteless jokes, rants, and flames. They are present, too, but few and far between.

A Facebook group called Blame Cho Seung Hui has over 1,000 members. Other groups include Cho Seung Hui is Pure Evil and Cho Seung-Hui does NOT represent Asians. In all, there are 131 Facebook groups that contain the name Cho Seung Hui. Each has a least four or five members, many have hundreds. In terms of the tasteless, some groups contain fake posts with a picture of Mr. Hui made to look like he actually made an entry.

Many of the victims had their own Facebook pages that as of this morning are still available. I can see their listings as I search Facebook, though I cannot view the details because I am not a part of their network. Their profiles have been augmented by the creation of new groups in their names, memorializing them and celebrating their lives.

One boy who put up a collection of photos to commemorate one of the young students, Caitlin, posted a message asking reporters for their understanding in not asking him for information. His space was meant as a memorial. Another girl publicized this commemorative necklace designed by her mother (see photo). All proceeds from the sale will go to a memorial fund at the school.

USA Today called technology a coping mechanism, reporting that that many students’ first reaction to the shootings were to update their profiles with I’m OK messages. Students, they said, including ones from other colleges, replaced their Facebook profile photos with a VT logo shrouded in a black ribbon as a symbol.

Facebook groups that contain the words Virginia Tech in the title now number over 500. Many of them are from other universities all over the world. All of them are expressing their sadness and vowing to make this a part of Facebook’s collective memory.

Parents often ask me whether anything good can come from social networking sites. “What’s the point?,” they ask. “Why is this even necessary?”

Looking at the words written from the hearts of these young faces throughout the world, it’s clear that Facebook is the glue of a new, virtual community where words of hope, peace, and understanding prevail.